


World of Warcraft!Chatroom

by MissHyacinths



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: All chapters can be read as standalones, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Everyone bullies Wyrmbane a short story, M/M, Past Mathias Shaw/Edwin Vancleef, chatroom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHyacinths/pseuds/MissHyacinths
Summary: A series of chatroom style conversations between canon lore characters set in a modern AU
Relationships: Flynn Fairwind/Mathias Shaw
Comments: 56
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I used to write this style when I was super stressed and I've been in a bad way recently and so I gave it a go again and you know what it worked. 
> 
> While I've tried to keep people in character, this is still crack so take it too seriously at your own risk

_7thLegend has started a chat_

_MShaw07 has entered the chat _

_DaughteroftheSea has entered the chat_

_OldWolf has entered the chat_

_MoonSentinal has entered the chat_

_WhitePawn has entered the chat_

_7thLegend has changed his name to Wyrmbane_

Wyrmbane: I thought I’d let everyone know I intend to add Captain Fairwind and Miss Fordragon to the workgroup chat

_MShaw07 has changed his name to Shaw _

Shaw: Must you?

_WhitePawn has changed his name to Anduin_

Anduin: I’m fine with them being added 😊

Shaw: Miss Fordragon is fine, I’m confused as to why the Captain is a needed addition. 

_OldWolf has changed his name to Genn_

Genn: I’m inclined to agree with Mathias, I thought you were already in contact with Fairwind.

Wyrmbane: He doesn’t reply when I email him regarding work, I figured this would be a quicker way to get ahold of him. 

Shaw: He replies to me? Quite quickly actually.

MoonSentinal: I can tell Master Shaw why he replies quickly. 

_MoonSentinal has changed her name to Shandris_

Shaw: Because Halford doesn’t have his correct email probably. I know Fairwind has multiple.

_DaughteroftheSea has changed her name to Jaina_

Jaina: I gave you both the same email. He has the correct one. 

Shandris: Point and case really

Shaw: I don’t see your point or your case Ms Feathermoon

Shandris: Ignorance is a poor look on you Mathias

Jaina: No, I dare say its not his colour

Shaw: Very funny

Jaina: 😇 

Wyrmbane: If there are no further objections?

Jaina: Nope

Shandris: Not one

Anduin: Fine by me

Shaw: Go on then.

_Wyrmbane has added ShiningStar and PirateBooty to the chat_

Wyrmbane: Good afternoon the two of you. Captain, please change your username to something more appropriate when you are able and check your email.

PirateBooty: y’alright mates

ShiningStar: Hello everyone! 

_ShiningStar has changed her name to Taelia_

Taelia: He’s right Flynn, change your username.

PirateBooty: What’s wrong with my username??

Shaw: Where to start.

PirateBooty: Oh hey Shaw

Shaw: Hello. 

PirateBooty: Fancy meeting you here 

Shaw: This is a workgroup chat for a company you know I work for?

PirateBooty: Oh for sure, I just you know

PirateBooty: Hey is all I’m trying to say

Wyrmbane: Captain if we could get back to the matter at hand, starting with your name. 

PirateBooty: Right, sure.

PirateBooty: So Shaw is that your number attached to this chat?

Shaw: Why?

PirateBooty: Well I was hoping I could add it to my contacts? You know in case we need each other

Wyrmbane: Captain.

Shaw: Go ahead.

PirateBooty: Nice!

PirateBooty: So like did you want to get coffee sometime? You seem like a guy that likes coffee. 

Shaw: Coffee?

PirateBooty: Yeah, that bitter drink I often see you drinking from that blue flask.

Shaw: I know what coffee is, Fairwind.

PirateBooty: Oh good, had me worried for a second there.

PirateBooty: So anyway, coffee. Want to get some?

Wyrmbane: Captain. Your. NAME

Shaw: That depends really, do you know any good coffee places? I don’t want just watered down grit. 

Wyrmbane: Mathias.

Shaw: Halford.

Wyrmbane: You’re encouraging him

Shaw: Hey now, you invited him here. I’m being polite. 

Genn: Not to take sides, but he did warn you Wyrmbane. 

PirateBooty: I know some good places, I’m sure you know even better places with your links and all that- you pick, I’ll pay? I’m nothing if not generous

Shaw: Is that so. 

Shaw: Very well, why not. 

PirateBooty: Yahoo 🥳🥳🥳

Shaw: On the condition that you change your username

PirateBooty: Oh sure, not a problem mate.

PirateBooty has changed his name to TheCaptainBigDi

TheCaptainBigDi: Fuck ran out of characters

Shaw: Fairwind.

Taelia: Flynn.

Wyrmbane: Captain Fairwind that is highly inappropriate! 

Wyrmbane: and please watch your language

Shaw: Fuck

Wyrmbane: Mathias!

Shaw: Sorry, wrong chat. 

TheCaptainBigDi: Inappropriate? I was just trying to call meself TheCaptainBigDisco

TheCaptainBigDi: Love me some disco. 

TheCaptainBigDi: We aren’t anti-disco in this chat are we? Because I don’t know if I could stomach hanging around a bunch of disco HATERS 🙅 

Wyrmbane: Mathias, you were right. I apologise

Shaw: My favourite few words. 

Shaw: Flynn, please change your name to your actual name

TheCaptainBigDi has changed his name to Flynn

Flynn: You know chat admins can forcibly change names right? 

Shaw: Anduin and Wyrmbane are admins. 

Anduin: Oh I am well aware. 

Wyrmbane: Sir, you could have at least told me

Anduin: Apologies Halford, I couldn’t resist. 

Flynn: Knew there was something I liked about you 

Anduin: My thanks, Flynn. 

Anduin: Captain, did you know Master Shaw’s favourite flower is the Solanaceae? 

Flynn: Solanaceae? As in Nightshades? 

Anduin: Yes, just in case you were interested, be careful though, they are highly toxic. 

Wyrmbane: Mr Wrynn how is that relevant.

Genn: Indeed, Anduin what are you trying to do?

Anduin: Nothing, gentlemen. 

Shandris: My mother owns a flower shop that sells nightshades with protective covering for transport if you’d like the address, Fairwind. 

Flynn: If you could, thanks mate.

Shaw: Fairwind, its a coffee date, let’s not make it complicated. 

Flynn: Complicated? Wouldn’t dream of it, mate. I’m simplicity itself. 

Flynn: and did you just call it a date? 

Shaw: Typing error. 

Flynn: No mate, you said date. No take-backs. 

Genn: Could you two organise this in your own time, I think Wyrmbane is about to delete the chat. 

Jaina: Now, now Genn, we’re not discussing work right now. They are welcome to talk casually. 

Genn: Sure but if the chat suddenly vanishes don’t blame me.

Anduin: I’m certain it’s fine, Genn. Right, Halford?

Wyrmbane:...

Wyrmbane: If Captain Fairwind could reply to the email I sent three days ago, I’d be much obliged. 

Flynn: Is that all you wanted mate? Could have just said so.

Wyrmbane:...

_Wyrmbane has left the chat_

Flynn: Glad that’s sorted.

Flynn: Text me your free days, ey Mathias?

Shaw: I shall. 

Flynn: Sweet! Looking forward to it 😘

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

_Piratebooty has started a chat_

_Shiningstar has joined the chat_

_Tandleftonred has joined the chat_

_Shiningstar has changed their name to Taelia_

_Tandleftonred had changed their name to Tandred_

PirateBooty: Lads, I need some advice.

Taelia: No, you shouldn’t try to trim your beard with a flame thrower

Tandred: but if you do film it and leave it to me in your will. 

PirateBooty:...what do you two think I do in my spare time?

Tandred: Continue to push the boundaries of natural selection.

Taelia: and drink. Also, drink.

PirateBooty: Wow, I come to you two for help with feelings and all I get instead is outstanding banter, for shame. 

_PirateBooty had changed their name to Flynn_

Tandred: Feelings eh? That time of the year again?

Flynn: Fuck you, Tand. You and your stupid username.

Tandred: Hey now, Tand-left-on-red is nothing short of genius 

Flynn: That’s not even how you spell read

Tandred: It’s a play on my name, smartass

Flynn: Yeah, one that insinuates people don’t reply to your texts, you siren kissing sea slug 

Tandred: Hook handed barnacle head

Flynn: Giblet hugging sea boot

Tandred: I’ll hug your giblets you salt-crusted shark bait

Taelia: Boy’s please put the pirate insult generator down, I can’t take this again

Flynn: Just a bit of banter, Tae

Tandred: Yeah you, scallywag.

Taelia: Stop it

Tandred: Yes ma’am.

Taelia: Now then

Taelia: Flynn, what did you need advice for?

Flynn: Oh yeah, almost forgot why I text in the first place 

Flynn: It’s uh

Flynn: It’s about Shaw

Taelia: What about him 

Flynn: I’m smitten

Tandred: Flynn, you’ve been on one date in which you gave him some poisonous flowers and he brought you a few tia marias

Taelia: Tia Maria? 1. I thought it was a coffee date. 2. I thought /you/ were paying

Flynn: well, 1. Tia maria has coffee in it.

Taelia: It’s 20% alcohol 

Flynn: Details, details

Flynn: and 2. I didn’t even notice he’d paid till after we’d left, he didn’t say a thing. Just paid, walked me home, (along the seafront and everything mind), smiled at my game of ‘guess which rich twat owns that yacht’ and even kissed my cheek when he left like who does that???

Tandred: that’s surprisingly sweet actually

Tandred: and here I thought the man was a pretentious asshole in serious need of surgery to remove the stick from his ass

Flynn: Like I thought he only agreed to go out for coffee to get back at Wyrmbane for inviting me into the group chat and to learn where I live 

Flynn: but he actually seemed to enjoy himself

Flynn: so how do you tell a man you’re pitching a flag pole so hard for him there is barely any blood left to make you blush about it

Taelia:...not like that.

Tandred: Some poetry writes itself really

Tandred: but seriously, if you’re that taken with the man I can ask my sister about him? I think they’re friends. 

Taelia: Actually I think I may be able to do you one better

_Taelia has added Whitepawn to the chat_

Taelia: Hey Anduin.

_Whitepawn has changed his name to Anduin_

Anduin: Greetings.

Tandred: Taelia we can’t ask Shaw’s boss for ways for Flynn to seduce the man

Anduin: Ah is that why I’m here.

Anduin: I dare say you don’t need help in that regard, Captain. He’s quite taken with you. 

Flynn: I don’t know mate, all I’ve done around the bloke so far is make poor inuendos, talk his ear off for six hours straight and then accidentally make him pay for my drinks. I’m usually better at this. 

Anduin: Trust me, Flynn. If he didn’t like you, you would know, I’ve seen him reduce grown men to tears. 

Anduin: but if you’re truly unsure I’m sure we can all brainstorm a few ideas on how you could ask him out again. 

Flynn: Thanks mate! You’re a real pal, Anduin!

Tandred: Guess this is how I’m spending my evening. You’re lucky I like you, Fairwind.

Flynn: Good to know my charm still has you enraptured, Tand

Tandred:😒

Flynn: Right, Anduin- what do we have? Favourite food? Favourite movie? Star sign??

Tandred: Star sign? Flynn are you more drunk than usual?

Flynn: Thought a fellow sailor might appreciate my trust in the stars

Tandred: Sure if we were in the 17th century.

Flynn: Kids these days- no respect for the old ways 

Tandred: okay boomer

Flynn: You take that back

Taelia: If we could focus?

Anduin: Truth be told I don’t actually know Shaw that well. 

Anduin: Though I do know he’s a Scorpio 

Flynn: Course he’s a bloody Scorpio 

Flynn: I’m a Gemini for anyone who cares- say are those two compatible?

Taelia: Flynn, focus. 

Flynn: Right, right, sorry

Anduin: As I was saying. I don’t know Shaw very well but I know a few people who at least know him better than I do. Renzik; his second and Amber; his best friend. 

Tandred: No disrespect, Anduin but how do you not know much about a man who works directly under you?

Anduin: Shaw’s secretive, honestly when I was still a teenager and he was working under my father I didn’t really like him that much 😔

Flynn: Mate, he says nothing but nice things about you

Flynn: Uh mostly nice things

Flynn: I actually think he’d be gutted to hear that

Anduin: My opinion of the man changed after my father retired and I was somewhat forced to interact with him more

Anduin: Perhaps I was just scared of him in my youth, the man certainly holds a presence 

Flynn: Oh he does, doesn’t he. 🤤🤤

Taelia: So, Renzik and Amber?

Anduin: Right, if you give me a minute captain I’ll put you in contact with them. I don’t have their numbers but I have an alternate idea. 

_\--------------------------------- Somewhere in the SI:7 group chat---------------------------------_

Renzik: Listen, Boss, I’m telling you we should change out Wrynn having personal bodyguards and just have disguised SI7 loitering around him, it’ll give the kid a chance to mingle at his own party without scaring suitors off before they get within 100 yards

Renzik: It’ll also give you and Valeera a chance to enjoy the atmosphere a bit without having to stick to Wrynn’s shoulder. Who knows maybe you could invite your new squeeze along. 

Shaw: I disagree strongly and do not call Fairwind ‘my new squeeze’. We had coffee one time. 

Amber: By your standards, you’re basically married. 

Shaw: I will demote both of you.

Amber: He’s right through, Mathias. Anduin making connections is important and the presence of armed bodyguards might scare off potential people. 

Amber: That and maybe inviting Fairwind might be good for you? Heaven forbid you may enjoy yourself. 

Shaw: I don’t go to large social gatherings to enjoy myself and in our occupation neither should the two of you. 

Renzik: Well maybe this one time you could, boss. 

Amber: The last time you attended a social with a date was back before you and VanCleef divorced, this one time won’t kill you 

Shaw: I fail to see how that's relevant to our security plan. 

Renzik: Uhh Ambs I agree with you, doll but let’s not pull out the V-word or the D-word. I actually don’t want to get fired, it’ll mess with my retirement plan. 

Amber: I’m not bringing it up to be malicious, I bring it up because our stubborn boss refuses to consider himself once or twice a decade. 

Lord Romano: Respectfully, I agree with Master Shaw.

Renzik: Back off twurp he ain’t gona promote ya 

Lord Romano: I don’t require a promotion, I’m a senor in this organisation and any work that benefits our government is rewarding enough

Amber: Get to the point.

Lord Romano: My point is Anduin’s connections won’t be worth a penny if he’s assassinated. Master Shaw is best-served protecting our Boss rather than consorting some plebian. 

Renzik: Oop there it is.

Renzik: Are we really bringing words like plebian out of retirement

Amber: You sound jealous, Tony. 

Renzik: ☕️☕️

Lord Romano: How dare you and it’s Lord Romano, Miss Kearnen. 

Shaw: I’m surrounded by children. 

Lord Romano: I understand the confusion in regards to Renzik, given his vertical challenges. 

Renzik: Why you little shit

Shaw: Enough. Romano, Renzik is your superior you will address him as such

Lord Romano: Yes, Sir.

Shaw: Renzik and Kearnen, If you have an opinion on how we should run our operations I will hear them but do not try to bring up my personal life to justify it, I don’t care if you think your intention is well placed. 

Renzik: Yes, Sir.

Amber: Yes, Sir. 

Shaw: Right then. If there is nothing else, shall we get back to the matter at hand?

Renzik: Good idea, Boss. 

Shaw: Right so I’m willing to compromise on the two bodyguards down to one along with hidden agents. 

_Whitepawn has joined the chat_

_Whitepawn has changed his name to Anduin_

Anduin: Good evening. 

Shaw: Sir. What a surprise. We were just discussing the security plans for your formal next month. 

Anduin: It’s alright, I’ll make this quick. Master Shaw if you could promote me to the sole admit real quick. 

Shaw: Of course. 

_Shaw has promoted Anduin to admin_

Anduin: Thank you and I apologise in advance

Shaw:...for what? 

_Anduin has kicked Shaw from the chat_

_Anduin has added PirateBooty to the chat_

_Anduin has changed PirateBooty’s name to Flynn._

Flynn: Ahoy chaps and chappettes

Renzik: Uh boss, what are you doing? Shaw’s already in a foul mood

Lord Romano: Indeed, someone said the V-word and the D-word

Flynn: The V and the D word?? What kinda saucy things do you lot chat about that requires Vs and Ds 👉👌 

Lord Romano:...

Lord Romano: Sir, with all due respect, why is he here

Anduin: Well you see.

_Anduin has kicked Lord Romano from the chat_

Anduin: Anyway, Captain Fairwind has some questions for you two regarding Mathias and I’d consider it a personal favour if you answered them. I’ll be leaving him in your capable hands. 

_Anduin has promoted Renzik to admin_

_Anduin leaves the chat_

Renzik: Whateva I didn’t need working legs, whats up bud?

Flynn: Whats happening to your legs?

Renzik: Shaw breaking my knees if we don’t hurry this up and add him back. Talk.

Flynn: I need help seducing Mathias.

Renzik:...

Amber:...

Amber: You had our boss usurp our private work chat so you could ask for dating advice regarding our other boss?

Flynn: Yup

Renzik:...Kid’s got balls I guess. Until Shaw busts them for entering our chat uninvited

Amber: What do you want to know? Understand legally we can only answer certain questions

Flynn: Right I need date ideas, something he'd really enjoy. Does Shaw have any hobbies?

Amber: Aside from injecting venom? I don’t think so

Flynn: Pardon

Renzik: Oh yeah, he injects like teenie tiny amounts of venoms and poisons and such. Has done for decades. A good chunk of venoms don't affect him as much anymore, it’s kinda hardcore. 

Flynn: uhuh

Flynn: So you’re saying take him on holiday to the Australian outbacks? Because I’m uh not immune to snakes meself. 

Amber: Oh he also draws. He’s quite a competent artist.

Flynn: soooo take off my clothes and ask him to draw me like one of his french girls?

Amber: No. 

Renzik: No offence, Fairwind but you’re kind of an idiot. I don’t understand how you’ve caught Shaw’s attention. 

Flynn: Look I don’t have a good track record with relationships and I already feel lost here before anything has even started.

Flynn: Just a hint, mates. A droplet of knowledge on how to ask the bloke if he wants to get more serious without sounding like a tosshead

Shawbackup07: Is that all you wanted?

Renzik: Ah shit, I forgot his back up account was in here. 

Flynn: …

Flynn: Look mate, I know I’m used to being the ass but this is embarrassing even for me.

Shawbackup07: So it should be, you have my number, we’ve been talking regularly, why didn’t you just ask.

Flynn: I don’t know, I’ve been too sober recently, I overthink things when I’m not completely hammered. 

Shawbackup07: Let me make one thing clear, Captain; if you indoctrinate Anduin into a stunt like this again, I’ll be sure to inform his Father of what a poor influence you are, and trust me; you don’t want that. 

Flynn: 😒

Shawbackup07: Right then. Did you want to get a pint at the Gilded Rose next week? 

Flynn: Seriously?!?

Shawbackup07: Mhm

Flynn: Yeah mate! Love to! 

Shawbackup07: See how easy that was? 

Flynn: That’s cheating, you know I’ve got a tent pitched for you, I didn’t know if you were actually interested or messing me around

Shawbackup07: I’m not known for making long, time-consuming and frankly cruel jokes, Flynn

Flynn: I uh guess you walking me home and kissing me goodnight should have clued me in, hey?

Renzik: God it’s not my business who the boss bump and grinds with but you’re kind of not smart, Fairwind.

Shawbackup07: Shiv, you’re grounded

Renzik: Eh

Flynn: I’ll be honest mate, at the time most the blood wasn’t in my head you know what I’m saying

Renzik: Could have gone my whole life without knowing that, kid

Amber: Ask him about the formal

Flynn: Formal?

Shawbackup07: Amber, you’re also grounded. 

Amber: Anything for a friend, right

Shawbackup07: God help me. Fine. 

Shawbackup07: Flynn, Anduin is hosting a formal in a month, were you interested in being my plus one? 

Flynn: Your plus one eh? 👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨👨❤️💋👨

Shawbackup07: Flynn.

Flynn: I mean sure! I don’t really have anything /formal/ to wear though, unless you want me in the nude

Shawbackup07: I can help you with that

Shawbackup07: The formal wear not the nudity

Flynn: 😉😉😉😉😉

Shawbackup07: You best inform Valeera she’ll be on duty, Shiv

Flynn: Wow, this all worked out better than I expected. 

Flynn: Moral of the story; my plan worked, shoulda never doubted myself 

Shawbackup07: Flynn. 

Flynn: Love a happy ending, text me later ❤️❤️❤️

_Flynn has left the chat_

Shawbackup07: What a dolt. 

Amber: Yeah, don’t know what that says about you. 

Shawbackup07: I’m going to try not to think about it

Shawbackup07: Shiv reinvite my main account and Romano please and disavow all knowledge of this conversation 

Renzik: Sure thing Boss. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wholeass don't think anyone cares but on the off chance they do, there are spoilers to the endings of GoT Characters in here

_Whitepawn has started a chat_

_TheBlackPrince has joined the chat_

_LadyofthePack has joined the chat_

_Whitepawn has changed their name to Anduin_

_TheBlackPrince has changed their name to Wrathion_

Anduin: Wrathion, Tess are you still interested in going out later?

LadyofthePack: ‘Course. Are you sure Mathias is going to let you go without security though?

_LadyofthePack has changed their name to Tess_

Anduin: As it happens, Shaw booked this evening off 

Wrathion: I thought the good Master Shaw didn’t take time off

Anduin: He doesn’t. In my time being CEO he’s never asked for time off until now. 

Wrathion: Oof imagine never taking a spa day 💅🏾

Tess: Does Shaw really strike you as the spa type?

Wrathion: I don’t know, with that moustache anything is possible

Wrathion: I know me and the man aren’t friends but I can respect a fellow proprietor of facial hair 

Tess: Don’t you think Shaw might be angry if he finds out you went out without at least telling him so he could put agents in the area?

Anduin: I’m taking his prize pupil, he can’t complain

Tess: Ah but he will 

Anduin: I was hoping I could invite Taelia along?

Tess: Don’t see why not, I was going to invite Lorna

Wrathion: I have no problem with either, always pleasant to meet both your lady friends 

Wrathion: Tess, why don’t you invite Vanessa too? We can make a drama out of it.

Tess: Anduin doesn’t like Vanessa

Wrathion: That's 90% of the fun

Anduin: I never said I didn’t like Vanessa

Tess: No, but I know you’re thinking it

Tess: it’s okay, she doesn’t like you either

Anduin: Oh and here I thought she spray-painted ‘eat the rich’ on my car as a sign of friendship 

Tess: Fuck, is she still doing that? 

Anduin: Not recently, Shaw had a word with Edwin about it.

Tess: What’d he say?

Anduin: Apparently he apologised for the confusion, he’d suggested she spraypaint my father’s vehicle instead and she got the two confused 😒

Wrathion: I’m sure Shaw was overjoyed

Anduin: He was not.

Anduin: Add Lorna to the chat and I’ll add Tae

_Tess has added ShotgunandRoses to the chat_

_Anduin has added Shiningstar to the chat_

Tess: Lorna, you’ve met the boys before

_ShotgunandRoses has changed their name to Lorna_

Lorna: Briefly, I hope you’re well Mr Wrynn

Anduin: Please Lorna this is a causal group chat, call me Anduin

Anduin: Oh and every one, this is Taelia

_Shiningstar has changed their name to Taelia_

Taelia: Hello! 

Tess: Aha we officially outnumber the boys now 

Wrathion: Confounded 

Wrathion: Although, Taelia- Anduin has mentioned before you have a roommate?

Wrathion: Did he want to come? Make it an even number

Taelia: As much as Flynn loves a good pub crawl, I don’t think he’ll be interested today

Anduin: The Captain turning down alcohol? Is he unwell?

Taelia: Oh aye, something we call lovesick

Taelia: Mathias is over

Wrathion: Ah ho so that’s why he asked for the day off 

Wrathion: Fascinating 🤭

Wrathion: Maybe we should all go hang out at Taelia’s apartment instead? For science

Taelia: awh you leave them alone

Tess: Shaw taking time off to spend his day with someone? Think you’ve got an imposter

_Taelia has sent an attachment_

Taelia: Looks like Master Shaw to me

Tess: God, are they cuddling??? While watching tv???

Wrathion: Awh, well isn’t that cute. 

Tess: Shaw hates binge watching and I've never seen him willingly step closer than 2 meters to another person

Anduin: Are they watching Game of Thrones?

Taelia: Yeah, I think Flynn’s forcing Shaw to watch it

Lorna: He’ll be as disappointed as the rest of us by the end I’m sure

Tess: Eh, the Stark girls lived so I won’t complain

Lorna: That’s true I suppose.

Wrathion: and the dragon witch died so that’s a win in my book

Anduin: For the last time Wrathion she was their mother, you’re meant to be sad when she died

Wrathion: A mortal cannot bind a dragon, Anduin, they’re too powerful

Anduin: Dragons aren’t real and I think you’re taking it too seriously.

Anduin: Besides I liked Dany

Wrathion: Of course you did.

Taelia: Shall I invite them both anyway?

Anduin: You are welcome to

Taelia: Sure let me change then I’ll go ask. 

Tess: So when did this happen?

Anduin:?

Tess: Shaw and his new ‘friend’

Anduin: Oh, not long ago. Did he not mention it?

Tess: My father mentioned it in passing I think but Shaw himself never told me. 

Tess: Then again he’s never really discussed his personal life so

Wrathion: You know I heard a fun rumour that Shaw is Vanessa’s dad’s ex-husband

Wrathion: Is that why you set Shaw on him anytime Vanessa hurts your feelings, My lion?

Anduin: Don’t make it sound like playground drama, she vandalized my property that’s against the law

Anduin: Besides, it was your aunt that set Shaw and VanCleef up to split anyway so if anything their family hating mine is your families fault

Wrathion: Ahhh Auntie Onyxia was always a do’er

Wrathion: I hope causing a divorce wasn’t the only reason she was sent to prison

Anduin: You mean aside from the blackmail, manslaughter, health and safety violations, fraud, identity theft to name a few? 😒

Wrathion: Now, now let’s not get touchy. I’m not defending her, she forgot my twelfth birthday you know I could never forgive such a crime, prison is too good for her. 

Tess: Aren’t most of your family in prison. 

Wrathion: Tis’ what happens when you’re from a crime family, its like monopoly on who is going to the clink next. 

Wrathion: Makes Christmas a touch lonely though. I believe it’s only myself, Ebyssian and Sabellian out now. Ebyssian always spends the season with his God-daughter and I’m not even sure Sabellian is in the country anymore. 

Anduin: Well assuming you’re not the next person in the stocks you’re welcome to spend Christmas with us. 

Tess: Us being Anduin, his dad and my family

Wrathion: Tess, Anduin; My darlings- both your fathers quite dislike me

Tess: I’m aware. I don’t think that’s enough to stop you somehow 

Wrathion: Oh absolutely not

Wrathion: Taelia, did you ask the good Master Shaw and his new pillow if they wanted to come?

Taelia: uh 

Taelia: They’ve uh moved to Flynn’s room, from the sounds of it I think they’re busy

Wrathion: Scandalous

Wrathion: Record it

Tess: Do not! Shaw is close enough to be my uncle I don’t want to know

Wrathion: Are you not at least a little curious

Anduin: Wrathion. 

Wrathion: Yes, my lion

Anduin: I will ban you. 

Wrathion: Oh but what an empty void that would be left in my wake

Anduin: 😑

Anduin: Tae we’ll come to pick you up in 5, assuming I don’t stop to dump Wrathion in a ditch somewhere

Wrathion: Such large claws you have 😽😽

Taelia: Please hurry, these walls aren’t thick

Wrathion: I doubt they’ll last 5 minutes given Shaw’s age and all

Anduin: That is it, you’re sitting in the back seat

Wrathion: I am not! The front seat is mine by right!

Anduin: Not anymore, Taelia gets the front seat until you learn to behave 

Wrathion: 😡😡😡

Taelia: …

Taelia: I think they just broke Flynn’s bed

Tess: Excuse me?

Taelia: I heard a crash

Taelia: Do I check on them???

Tess: Absolutely not

Wrathion: Do it, coward

Anduin: Wrathion. 

Wrathion: For their well-being of course

Taelia: I’ll knock, that’s safe right?

Taelia: …

Taelia: Yup, they busted one of the bed legs

Wrathion: Very impressive

Taelia: Well, I guess Flynn’s grounded to the couch until he gets the money for a new one

Wrathion: Ask him if it was worth it

Tess: Do not ask him

Taelia: He looks pleased with himself, is all I’m willing to say on the matter. 

Anduin: Tae, we’re outside

Taelia: Thank god

Anduin: You’re still welcome to invite the other two if they’re all uh finished

Wrathion: Please do, I wish to question them myself

Taelia: Flynn said maybe next time and then winked slowly 😒

Wrathion: Shame.

Taelia: Right, assuming Shaw doesn’t kill me for being a witness to that I’ll be down shortly

Tess: Pfft you’ll be fine, see you lot in 5. Have fun in the backseat Wrathion

Wrathion: 🖕🏾🖕🏾

Tess: 😇

  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate the comments yall are leaving on this, I'm super happy people are enjoying my nonsense as much as I like writing it :)

_PirateBooty has started a chat_

_PiarteBooty has invited MShaw07  to the chat _

_PirateBooty has changed his name to Flynn_

_PirateBooty has changed MShaw07 's name to Mathias _

Flynn: Hey mate has everything been okay? You’ve seemed a bit off these past few days?

Mathias: Everything is fine.

Flynn: Are you sure because if not, you can tell me.

Mathias: I’m fine.

Flynn: Are you sureeeee

Flynn: Come on, you can tell me

Flynn: ❤️❤️

Mathias: Its

Mathias: God Flynn its about the fucking bed

Flynn: Christ mate are still not over that?

Mathias: No, I feel awful about it

Flynn: I told you it’s fine, it was already broken from where I’d nabbed it from my last roommate and rolled it down a flight of stairs, it was only a matter of time until the leg broke completely

Flynn: and honestly I can not think of a better way for it to go

Mathias: Still, you being confined to the couch doesn’t bother you?

Flynn: Nah mate, it’s a lovely couch, you’ve sat on it

Mathias: I was sat on /you/ and you kept complaining about the couch springs digging into your ass.

Flynn: Well yes but only because I like the sound of my own voice, it wasn’t actually /that/ bad

Mathias: When are you going to get a new bed?

Flynn: When I can afford it. 

Mathias: And when will that be? 

Flynn: Who knows, mate

Flynn: I could get one of those pirate beds, that’d be cool

Mathias: Dare I ask?

Flynn: Pirate bed, babe. Like one of these

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4a/ca/18/4aca184f4e6db39d2b0b9a7265569c28.jpg)

Mathias: You cannot be serious

Flynn: I am /so/ being serious

Flynn: Picture this mate; we’ve been out for the night, we’re tipsy and we’ve decided to go back to my place, we stumble into my room barely able to keep our hands off each other, you see the bed ‘wow' you think, 'what a fun and inspiring individual with exquisite taste in furniture’

Mathias: I would not think that

Flynn: then I lean over, place my mouth to your ear and say “you know pirates are known for plundering booty, how about we make this boat rock”

Mathias: I would dump you

Flynn: Eh you city-slickers are no fun

Flynn: maybe something more refined for the Master Shaw?

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://www.masterwishmakers.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/pirate-bed-handmade.jpg)

Mathias: Well at least that looks like it was made with an adult in mind

Flynn: If we ever move in together, that’s our bedroom mate, no negotiation. 

Flynn:...

Flynn: Sorry was that too forward? That felt a little too forward on my end

Flynn: Sorry was just joking mate

Flynn: Unless you don’t want me to be joking

Flynn: Then I’m not

Flynn: Mate, you there?

Mathias: I’m here, I was just thinking

Flynn: Careful, mate I avoid doing that at all costs

Mathias: Flynn.

Flynn: Sorry, carry on

Mathias: Well I

Mathias: since I broke your bed and all

Flynn: We broke it, group effort 

Mathias: Right, did you want to stay around mine? 

Mathias: I know we haven’t been together long but I just think you know-

Mathias: Until you can get a new bed

Mathias: If you’d like.

Flynn: Mate are you serious

Flynn: But I’m so annoying

Mathias: I’m well aware.

Flynn: And you still want me to stay with you??

Mathias: That is what I said, yes

Flynn: Geez mate

Flynn: Was the sex that good?

Mathias: Fairwind, that is not why I’m asking. 

Mathias:...

Mathias: It was good though.

Flynn: Wasn’t it! Think if the bed hadn’t betrayed us I would have plundered you a second time

Mathias: I’m flattered you think I could have gone a second time

Mathias: But seriously, you can stay round whenever you want 

Flynn: Oh don’t you worry, mate. I’m talented at overstaying my welcome

Mathias: Hmm that’s what I was afraid of.

Flynn: 💓💓💓💓

Flynn: So I promised Tandred I’d help him fix his car today but once we’re finished did you want to christen your bed 😘😉 

Flynn: Promise I’ll try not to break it

Mathias: My bed’s very sturdy captain, if you break it I’ll be very impressed. 

Mathias: That was not a challenge by the way.

Flynn: Oreally 

Mathias: Yes, really.

Mathias: I’ll be at the Old town gym with Amber and Tess today so if you come by when you’re finished with Proudmoore and I’ll drive us, so you can learn the route 

Flynn: okay sure ❤️

Flynn: Fuck Mat I’m actually really excited 

Mathias: Me too.

Flynn: Hey would you be willing to drive me to Tand’s? We could go for a roll in the car if you’re feeling adventurous 

Mathias: Absolutely not, I’m meant to be working out today I am /not/ doing that with a limp.

Flynn: I’ll go bottom then

Mathias: You’re going to help Tandred with his car with a sore arse? You scoundrel.

Flynn: For you, I’ll do anything 

Mathias: You’re a nightmare. 

Mathias: I’ll drop you off if you want but you’ll have to wait till later for anything else. 

Flynn: Tease

Mathias: Mhm I can be.

Flynn: Go on, Master Shaw, tell me more

_Tandleftonred has joined the chat_

_Tandleftonred has changed their name to Tandred_

Flynn: dewfh ef

Flynn: Fuck, dropped my phone

Flynn: Tandred wtf this is private chat!!!

Tandred: Your settings are on anyone can join

Flynn: …

Flynn: So they are, my bad Mat

Mathias: It’s fine it’s not like we were discussing state secrets

Flynn: You have state secrets?

Mathias: If I told you I’d have to kill you and all that

Tandred: Flynn have you checked the time

Flynn: My watch says 9

Tandred: No, don’t look at your old ass pocket watch look at your phone clock

Flynn: shit

Flynn: Sorry Tand I keep forgetting this clock is slow

Tandred: Maybe you should get a new one mate

Flynn: I like this watch, matches my compass

Tandred: Repair it

Flynn: Don’t have the cash

Flynn: Even less so now, my phone screen cracked when I dropped it ffs

Tandred: I’d say sorry but you /are/ late

Flynn: Alright I’m coming, you bastard

Mathias: Would you still like me to drop you off?

Flynn: If you could

Mathias: Sure

Flynn: Cheers, see you in a few ❤️

_Flynn has left the chat_

Mathias: Apologies for keeping him I didn’t know he was late.

Tandred: It’s fine, he would have been late even if he wasn’t talking to you 

Tandred: uh Shaw

Mathias: ?

Tandred: Look I didn’t originally have the highest opinion of you, assuming you were a bit of a snobbish wanker at first but uh 

Tandred: Thank you, for being nice to my friend. He’s used to people treating him like shit, I appreciate you not doing that

Tandred: I’m going to leave now before it gets awkward, see you when I see you 

Mathias: Til later captain

Tandred: ✌🏼

_Tandred has left the chat_

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

_Shiningstar has started a chat_

_Tandleftonred has joined the chat_

_PirateBooty has joined the chat_

_PirateBooty has changed their name to fglurhyn_

Fglurhyn: ahye sailirs 

_Shining star has changed their name to Taelia_

Taelia: Flynn, are you drunk?

Fglurhyn: ye

Taelia: Haven’t seen that in a while, I noticed you cut back on drinking to an almost normal level when you and Shaw got more serious

_Tandleftonred has changed their name to Tandred_

Tandred: I’ve seen him drink two bottles of whiskey through a funnel going straight into his mouth, I don’t know if normal is a word that can be used when talking about Flynn and alcohol 

Taelia: Normal as in drinking a reasonable amount from a tumbler rather than chain-drinking bottles of 40%ers and somehow not going into a coma 

Tandred: His liver must look like a raisin

Fglurhyn: Ill hasve u knw i havbe the strongeest liverrrrsss

Taelia: “Livers” as in more than one?

Fglurhyn: yes 

Fglurhyn: at least 3 

Tandred: Would explain a lot 

Tandred: Tae, please fix his username, it looks like someone trying to address him while gargling water 

Fglurhyn: itas how mat soinds when he says my naem while suckibg my dicck 

Tandred: Thanks for that insight 

_Taelia has changed Fglurhyn’s name to Flynn_

Taelia: Where is Mathias anyway? Did something happen?

Flynn: NAh hes out of town on businessd 

Flynn: said hed text me whn he git to the hotel bu t i got bord 

Taelia: Did you want me to leave this chat open so he can join when he’s checked-in? I doubt you’ll be able to hold a one-way conversation and at least we can translate 

Tandred: You might as well send him an invite. If Flynn’s likes him as much as he claims he may as well be able to join the group whenever he wants.

Flynn: yayyyyayyyy

Taelia: I thought you didn’t like Shaw?

Tandred: Sure, I /didn’t/ but if both Jaina and Flynn like him he can’t be /that/ bad

Flynn: awh tand

Tandred: So how long is Shaw out for town for? 

Flynn: few days maybe e wekk or so 

Flynn: I dontt lnow how im goin g to survive 

Taelia: You have survived the past 35 years of your life Flynn I’m sure you’ll be fine 

Flynn: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

Flynn: Im a;ready to bored 

Tandred: Would explain why you’re typing like you’re licking your phone screen 

Taelia: Ew, don’t lick your phone screen

Flynn: toooo laete

Tandred: You’re so chaotic I don’t know how you haven’t made Shaw grey already

Tandred: I’m getting greys and we’re not even dating 

Flynn: ur getting greys cuz ur getting old

Tandred: I’m 33. You’re older than me

Flynn: and yet i ve agedd so gracefully 

Tandred: Sure because you don’t have to put up with yourself 

Flynn: saay that tp my face you jellyyf ish

Taelia: Do not argue with the drunk 

Tandred: 😒

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799697892406722650/image0.png)

Flynn: you 

Tandred: …

Tandred: Flynn

Flynn: ahouy

Tandred: Why

Flynn: ur a jell y fish 

Flynn: mate

Tandred: you cant type but you can edit my face onto a jellyfish

Flynn: had that sa ved for a special occassans d

Flynn: occas an 

Flynn: event. 

Taelia: occasion 

Flynn: i said event 

Taelia: Sure, Flynn

Flynn: I have morre 

Flynn: Just incase 

_MShaw07 has joined the chat_

[ Flynn has sent an attachment ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799433073200594984/image2.png)

_MShaw07 has changed their name to Shaw_

Shaw: Flynn, what is that.

Flynn: matttttttttttt babye imissed you 

Shaw: Are you alright?

Tandred: He’s drunk

Shaw: Flynn, I leave you for one day. 

Flynn: I knw but i was bored 

Shaw: I can see that. 

Shaw: Why did you edit Anduin’s face onto a kitten

Flynn: idk thought it was funny 

Taelia: I’m forwarding that to him 

Flynn: Ask what he thi nks

Shaw: You are lucky he likes you, Captain.

Shaw: More so you are lucky /I/ like you. 

Flynn: mmhm so luck y 😍😍😍😍

Flynn: Mat look what I mad e fore u 

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799426394056687636/image0.png)

Flynn: Look Im bblow ing yoa kiss 

Shaw:...

Shaw: Where do you find these pictures of me.

Shaw: and also why?

Flynn: you never le t us take pictures toegtehr 

Flynn: so ii have to make m y own 

Shaw: Sorry. 

Shaw: I don’t much like seeing my face in photographs, it rarely brings good things in my profession. 

Flynn: Thatsa right royal shame because i love seeing ur face 

Shaw: Behave. 

Flynn: Make me 

Taelia: Right, just politely interjecting to remind you boys this is not a private chat

Tandred: lol

Shaw: I am aware.

Flynn: wha t s a bit of public nudity beetwen frends? 

Shaw: Flynn, please sober up, reading your messages when you type like that is giving me a migraine.

Flynn: Babe I edited wyrmbanes face ontp a turkey 

Flynn: do u wana see

Shaw:...

Shaw: Sure, go for it

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799433071534669834/image0.png)

Shaw: Ha

Shaw: I thought you said you put him on a turkey, that’s just a picture of Halford

Tandred: Master Shaw was that sarcasm?

Tandred: I didn’t know you knew the meaning of the word

Shaw: I’ve been known to partake.

Tandred: Colour me surprised

Shaw: I’m going to forward that to Genn, I’m sure he’ll get a kick out of that

Tandred: Really? Didn’t think the Old wolf had a sense of humour either

Shaw: I’m sure he’d surprise you too

Tandred: huh

Flynn: ooi tandred hes m y boyfriend back of f

Tandred: Trust me Flynn, I’m not interested in your Master Shaw

Tandred: …

Tandred: No offence

Shaw: None taken. 

Shaw: Flynn please go sober up at least until you can type or speak in complete sentences

Flynn: if i do tha t woll you video call me?

Shaw: Sure, I won’t be able to speak for long because I’m sharing a hotel room with Amber and she’ll complain if I wake her

Flynn: youre sharing a room wth amber shoid I be JEALOUS??

Shaw: I’m gay, Flynn.

Flynn: o yeah lol 

Taelia: Would have thought Anduin gave your trips enough money for separate rooms?

Shaw: Not worth the hassle when we’re only using it to sleep in, we don’t stay in one place for long.

Taelia: Ah, what is it you two do exactly anyway?

Shaw: It’s confidential I’m afraid. 

Tandred: Very mysterious

Shaw: I have to be, if I make it to retirement age I’ll be sure to make a show and tell about it. 

Tandred: Can’t wait. 

Shaw: I have to go, If I make Amber wait any longer to get food I think she’ll use me as a substitute. 

Flynn: Mat wait 

Shaw: Hmm?

[ _Flynn has sent an attachment_ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799433072364748850/image1.png)

Flynn: Sendd that to Greyma ne

Shaw:...Absolutely not. 

Shaw: Send it yourself.

Flynn: k

Shaw: Actually don’t because I’m still the one he’ll grill over it. 

Flynn: too late 🤑

Shaw: Fantastic.

Flynn: Prom sie youl call later

Shaw: I promise

Shaw: But please do sober up first

Flynn: ok 

Flynn: i love youuu

Flynn; ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Shaw: I’ll speak to you soon, Flynn. 

_Shaw has left the chat_

Tandred: wow

Tandred: You’re in deep with this one aren’t you, mate

Flynn: absoluytely drownning

Flynn: but its like im a fish so it doesn’t feele too bad

Taelia: Go sleep off the whiskey, Flynn. I’m sure Mathias will be around when you wake up

Flynn: hooray 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳


	6. Chapter 6

_ 7thLegend has started a chat _

_ Oldwolf has joined the chat  _

_ PirateBooty has joined the chat _

PirateBooty: Alright lads, I’m here as officially requested

_ 7thLegend has changed his name to Wyrmbane _

Wyrmbane: If the Captain would be so kind as to change his username to something more appropriate

_ Oldwolf has changed his name to Greymane _

Greymane: Like your actual name, Captain, before you write something clever.

PirateBooty: If you want clever, mate, you’ve come to the wrong man.

Wyrmbane: Captain.

PirateBooty: Alright, alright

_ PirateBooty has changed his name to Flynn. _

Flynn: Uh

Flynn: Am I in trouble?

Greymane: Yes.

Wyrmbane: Very much so.

Flynn: Oh

Flynn: Well can I get Mathias or Anduin in here then? Feeling a little ganged up on if    
I’m honest

Greymane: No.

Wyrmbane: Your personal relationship with Shaw would affect the direction of the conversation and Mr Wrynn is busy, he’s notified of the existence of this chat but will be unlikely to find the time to join. 

Flynn: pfffffff

Flynn: My ‘personal relationship with Shaw'. He’s my boyfriend mate, you can just say that. 

Greymane: Still don’t know how you managed that one, to be honest, Captain. 

Flynn: My giant, big, bulging

Wyrmbane: Captain.

Flynn: Heart. 

Flynn: What?

Wyrmbane: Nothing.

Flynn: What did you think I was going to say? 

Wyrmbane: Something entirely inappropriate I’m sure

Flynn: what a dirty-minded assumption 

Wyrmbane: Give me strength

Flynn: Do you disprove of my ‘personal relationship’? Is that why you organised this little chat while Shaw was away?

Greymane: Not at all, in fact, I think you’ve been rather good for Master Shaw. His mood has improved significantly since you got together which has been good for morale. 

Flynn: Oh really

Flynn: Neat

Flynn: Why do I feel like I’m being set up for a ‘compliment sandwich’?

Greymane: Because you are, give it a minute. 

Flynn: Shit.

Wrymbane: As to why we organised this while Shaw was away; we didn’t. The meeting would have been an in-person one with Anduin present a few weeks ago if you just answered my emails. 

Greymane: That and these came to our attention a few days ago. 

[ _ Greymane has sent an attachment _ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799433071534669834/image0.png)

[ _ Greymane has sent an attachment _ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/799433072364748850/image1.png)

Greymane: Care to explain Captain?

Flynn: haha omg so uh

Flynn: Look I was really drunk, I’m somewhat of a recovering alcoholic and I had a cheat day.

Greymane: I don’t think that explains as much as you think it does. 

Flynn: Look mate, they’re funny

Flynn: I made one of Anduin and my mate Tand too, I’m not being disrespectful

Flynn: If anything you should be /flattered/. I was under the impression you liked dogs. 

Greymane: I do like dogs. That doesn’t mean I want my face stuck on one. 

Greymane: What even is a ‘musky husky’

Flynn: You apparently

Greymane:...

Flynn: is what I would say if I was still drunk

Flynn: Which I’m not

Flynn: Nope the picture of responsibility I am.

Greymane:...

Greymane: I know I said you were good for Shaw, but I am getting second-hand embarrassment for him at the fact that /this/, of the 7.8 billion people in the world, is what he fell for. 

Flynn: Hey I take offence to that, I’m criminally handsome and irresistibly charming. 

Wrymbane: Fairwind, you cannot survive in this world on those two traits alone.

Flynn: The words of someone who has spent their entire life buying their own drinks at the bar. 

Greymane: Ha. You walked into that one Halford. 

Wyrmbane: Whose side are you on? 

Greymane: I appreciate the underdog. 

Wyrmbane: Moving on. 

Wrymbane: Aside from the inappropriate pictures, I am still confused as to why I was a turkey by the way- 

Flynn: Turkey’s look funny and have dangly bits on their face.

Wyrmbane: …

Wyrmbane: I don’t know what you’re implying. 

Flynn: Don’t think too hard about it, mate. 

Greymane: I think he’s implying you’re a dickhead, Halford

Flynn: Your words not mine. 

Wyrmbane:...I’m going to elect to ignore those comments.

Flynn: Grand idea 

Wrymbane: Aside from the pictures, I also wanted to discuss your language, your lack of professionalism, the fact you still haven’t updated your username, and finally your refusal to answer my emails. 

Flynn: Hey none of those things are forbidden in my contract.

Wrymbane: You want me to believe you actually read your contact?

Flynn: Yeah, all 20 pages mate. 

Flynn: Legally binding contracts are somewhat of a hobby of mine.

Greymane: So you know how to get out of them I’m sure.

Flynn: Well fool me once and all that.

Greymane: Careful Fairwind or you mind accidentally convince me you’re not an idiot. 

Flynn: Pipe down mate, you’ll ruin my reputation. 

_ DaughteroftheSea has joined the chat _

Wyrmbane: Ah Jaina, what a relief 

_ DaughteroftheSea has changed their name to Jaina _

Jaina: Hello, Halford. Anduin mentioned there was a disciplinary meeting?

Wyrmbane: Ah yes, we were just discussing Mr Fairwind’s recent behaviour with him. 

Jaina: Well I imagine you’re almost done then? The list can’t be that long. 

Flynn: Exactly, haven’t even nicked anything yet. 

Greymane: ‘Yet’?

Flynn: Eh semantics. 

Jaina: Either way, I’m sure the Captain is very sorry for his actions and will strive to improve? Master Shaw will be more than willing to help set him on the right path. 

Wyrmbane: Shaw /is/ strict regarding conduct I suppose. 

Wyrmbane: Honestly I’m surprised he hasn’t already had this conversation with you, Captain. 

Greymane: I can tell you exactly why he hasn’t done that.

Jaina: Thank you, Genn. Halford. I’m pleased we could get his resolved. 

Jaina: So how are things going with Mathias, Flynn? Tandred mentioned you were staying with him. 

Greymane: You moved in with him? I thought Tess was joking when she told me that. 

Flynn: Oh yeah, we broke my bed so he invited me to stay with him till I can afford a new one. 

Greymane: Huh, colour me surprised. I’ve known Shaw to be very particular about sharing his space, I’ve seen fingers lost over a damned desk. 

Flynn: Don’t I know it, almost lost a hand for leaving a knife on the kitchen counter.

Flynn: But hey I like spending time with him and he doesn’t make me pay rent, I don’t mind a few chores and basic house rules. 

Wyrmbane: Forgive me captain but I’m rather stuck on ‘we broke my bed’

Flynn: Yeah, leg gave out. 

Wyrmbane: By lifting it? Dropping it? Putting too many boxes on it? 

Flynn: Nope

Wyrmbane: Dare I ask.

Flynn: broke by too rough a shag, my good man. 

Jaina: Flynn 🤫

Flynn: Hey now, I didn’t curse. 

Greymane: It’s true he didn’t. 

Wyrmbane:...

Wyrmbane: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. 

Flynn:  😇

Wyrmbane: I’m going to leave now. I still have work to do. 

Wyrmbane: Until later.

_ Wyrmbane has left the chat. _

Flynn: I think that went rather well. 

Greymane: Ha! Put it this way Captain; you are lucky both Anduin and Mathias like you. 

Flynn: And here you gents were telling me I couldn't get by on charm and looks alone. 

Flynn: If that’s all then my lad and lady, my dashing Mathias owes me a phone call, see you around!

_ Flynn has left the chat  _

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

_PirateBooty has started a chat_

_Tandleftonred has joined the chat_

_MShaw07 has joined the chat _

_PirateBooty has changed his name to Flynn_

_Tandleftonred has changed his name to Tandred_

_MShaw07 has changed his name to Shaw _

Shaw: I have confirmation, I’m officially back in a week

Flynn: Hooray!! 🥳🥳

Shaw: I also heard you had a disciplinary meeting

Flynn: Eh it wasn’t a big deal

Shaw: Flynn, your actions reflect me I need you to take your job seriously

Flynn: Mate, I am the definition of serious

Shaw:...

Shaw: Look, my inbox has already been overrun while I’ve been out of town. Apparently not being at home translates to ‘please bother me with all your problems more than usual’ to everyone. If I see another email or message regarding your behaviour or your drunken ramblings added to this cluster I will be upset. 

Flynn: Aw Mat, I didn’t mean to stress you out. 

Shaw: Please, Flynn. You can set me at ease with three simple words. 

Flynn: Aw babe 

Flynn: I love you

Shaw: Try again. 

Flynn:...

Flynn: I will behave.

Shaw: Thank you. 

Tandred: I give it 2 minutes before he gives up

Shaw: I’m sure we can give him a little more credit then 2 minutes. 

Tandred: Give it a moment, Shaw. 

Flynn: …

Flynn: mhmhmhmmhmmm

Flynn: Shawwww I don’t think I can do it

Flynn: Matttttttttttt

Shaw: Flynn, it’s been 30 seconds 

Flynn: Must. do. CRIMES.

Tandred: I won’t say I told you so, given the circumstance. 

Shaw: You claim to love me and yet you still do the things you do.

Flynn: Sorry mate, but I’m a bit of a bad boy 

Tandred: Flynn, a kitten adoption advert came on the TV the other day and you started crying.

Flynn: Hey I can be a bad boy and still like animals, Tand, only monsters don’t like animals. 

Flynn: Say, Mathias, could we get a cat?

Shaw: No.

Flynn: Aw 😭

Shaw: Maybe one day. 

Flynn: yay 😄

Shaw: Perhaps I’d be more inclined if you manage to behave yourself until I get back. 

Flynn: If only I knew how 

Shaw: It’s alright, I can make a step-by-step guide for you. 

Shaw: Step one: Don’t.

Shaw: Step two: See step one. 

Flynn: You know you can be a sarcastic bastard when you want to be. 

Flynn: Makes me incredibly horny

Shaw: Save it for the direct messages, Fairwind. 

Flynn: Eh it’s only Tandred, he doesn’t mind. 

Shaw: It’s rude

Tandred: Tis alright, Shaw. I don’t mind playing third wheel

Flynn: See? Let Tand watch. 

Shaw: There isn’t much to watch apart from you getting on my last nerve. 

Flynn: Uhuh, is there anything else I could get on? 

Shaw: I’m putting my phone on mute now. 

Flynn: Awh come on, Shaw. Don’t be like that 

Tandred: Well, you’ve done it now, Flynn

Flynn: Shaw I’m sorry come back 

Flynn: Mathias 💔

Shaw: Sorry. It’s been a long few weeks.

Flynn: I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass, I just miss you

Shaw: I know, being away from everything is just beginning to grate on me. The paperwork, meetings and emails I’m going to have to catch up on as soon as I get home and the longer I’m away the more it’s going to pile up. 

Tandred: Hey now, you got that week confirmation, what else could happen in that time?

_Shiningstar has joined the chat_

_Shiningstar has changed their name to Taelia_

Taelia: Shaw do you know the VanCleefs by any chance?

Shaw:...

Shaw: Proudmoore, if this is bad news I’m blaming you for jinxing it

Tandred: You know what that’s fair

Shaw: Yes I know the VanCleefs, why?

Taelia: well Tess has invited me out with her and Vanessa for a girls night but I’m under the impression that the Wrynn’s and the VanCleef’s have history

Taelia: I don’t want to accidentally upset Anduin is what I’m saying 

Shaw: Anduin isn’t territorial when it comes to his friends, he won’t be offended.

Taelia: Okay cool

Taelia: I was just a little paranoid he’d think we were trying to exclude him by going out with someone he doesn’t get along with. 

Shaw: No, you’re fine. The VanCleef’s don’t like the Prestor’s either so if Anduin wanted to do something Wrathion would probably be available.

Taelia: God, I didn’t realise there was so much drama when I agreed to do an internship with you lot. 

Shaw: It was worse when Varian was still in charge. Anduin has made an effort to put a lot of feuds to rest but his father always relished a fight. 

Taelia: Anduin says our father’s knew each other and Varian’s expressed an interest in meeting me, I’ll be honest, from what I’ve heard I’m kind of terrified. 

Shaw: Varian is short-tempered but he isn’t cruel. 

Shaw: I’ve worked for him basically my whole life. He’s a good man. I think you’d probably like him. 

Shaw: I also think there is no harm in you going out with Greymane and VanCleef.

Taelia: Okay, alright if you’re sure. 

Taelia: Yay, I’m going to a girls night 🥳

Taelia: Thanks Shaw

Shaw: Don’t mention it.

Taelia: So hey, I heard a rumour about you and Vanessa’s dad? Is any of it true?

Shaw: That we were married? Sure, a long time ago. 

Flynn: EXCUSE ME??

Flynn: You were married?!?

Flynn: And you NEVER mentioned this??

Shaw: No, because we’ve been separated for almost as long as Vanessa’s been alive. It didn’t seem relevant. 

Flynn: I’m not judging mate, I’m just surprised.

Flynn: Do you still talk to him?

Shaw: Not if I can help it. 

Tandred: That’s...vague.

Shaw: We’re on agreeable terms but the whole incident was kind of a wound I let fester and now can’t be bothered to deal with so I just avoid it whenever possible. 

Taelia: Mathias, that’s probably not healthy. 

Shaw: If I wanted to be grilled on my unhealthy coping mechanisms I wouldn’t have had my therapist shipped to an island in the middle of the Pacific ocean. 

Flynn: You have a therapist?

Shaw: Ha. 

Shaw: Not anymore. 

Tandred: Sometimes, it’s so hard to tell if you’re being sarcastic or not. 

Shaw: Good. Keep guessing. 

Taelia: I’m going to go get ready now then. Thank you again, Mathias ❤️

_Taelia has left the chat_

Flynn: Any other fun little secrets you’re hiding from me Master Shaw

Shaw: More than you can count. 

Flynn: Oooo so mysterious 🤤

Shaw: Well I have to keep you interested somehow

Flynn: Mate, you don’t even have to try on that front, I’m smitten 

Flynn: I’d say sorry about your divorce but I for one am pretty selfish so I’m kind of chuffed about it. 

Tandred: Flynn, you can’t say that

Flynn: Just did. 

Shaw: You’re ridiculous 

Flynn: You wrote that with a smile, I can sense it. 

Shaw: You can’t prove that, no-one will ever believe you. 

Flynn: That’s alright, I kind of like the idea that I know how to make you smile being my dirty little secret. 

Flynn: Oh and Tandred’s I guess, since he’s still here. 

Tandred: Secret is safe with me fellas

Flynn: Thanks mate

Tandred: So Shaw, what did happen between the VanCleefs, Wrynns and Prestors?

Shaw: It’s a long story. One that Jaina knows if she’s inclined to tell you. 

Tandred: Ah well I’ll put that on my ‘things to bother my big sister about’ list for when I next see her.

Shaw: So long as you’re not bothering me about it, go wild. 

Flynn: Hey Tand, I know I said you could watch but I’m about to send Mat some particularly filthy messages so I’m going to give you about 30 seconds to vacate if you don’t want to be an unwilling participant in our sexting

Tandred: Alright, alright I get the hint 😉

Tandred: See you tomorrow Flynn. See you when I see you, Mathias. 

_Tandred has left the chat_

Flynn: Just you and me now, Master Shaw

Shaw: I suppose it is, Captain

Shaw: Thank you, for not making a big deal earlier.

Flynn: Hey we all have our old flames. I can tell you about some of my exes if you want to make even 😛

Shaw: No. Thank you. 

Flynn: 😉😉😉

Flynn: Anyway, want me to send a picture of what I’m wearing?

Shaw: Let me guess: it’s nothing but your greatcoat?

Flynn: It’s nothing but my greatcoat, yes

Shaw: You’re a scoundrel 

Flynn: Your scoundrel 😘

Shaw: Go on then, but make sure the chat is set to private this time. If Cyrus joins the chat just as you put in a picture of your cock /again/ I’m actually going to lose my mind.

Flynn: Eh, nothing the man hasn’t seen before

Shaw: Should I ask?

Flynn: Probably not. 

Flynn: Alright, the chat is locked 😈😈

Shaw: Then by all means Captain, do proceed. 

  
  
  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

_ TheBlackPrince has started a chat _

_ TheBlackPrince has added MShaw07 to the chat _

_ TheBlackPrince has changed his name to Wrathion _

_ Wrathion has changed MShaw07’s name to Shaw _

Wrathion: Master Shaw, I’m about to ruin your day 😊

Shaw: Fantastic.

Wrathion: Word has it the VanCleef’s are organising a protest outside Anduin’s city house next week.

Shaw: How big a protest are we talking

Wrathion: Big enough to attract media attention.

Shaw: I’m sure the last thing Anduin needs is to doxxed on live television.

Shaw: How did you find out about this?

Wrathion: I have friends in low places. 

Wrathion: The VanCleef’s homeless shelter is about a month away from bankruptcy, I’m sure they’re hoping this little stunt might bring attention to their cause OR the Wrynn’s will pay them a sizable amount of money to leave them alone. 

Shaw: If Edwin inadvertently doxxs Anduin the only thing Varian will paying for is a hitman to find a sizable hole to bury the man in. 

Wrathion: I thought that was what you were for?

Shaw: Fair point. If it’s all the same I’d rather not have to ‘disappear’ my ex-husband. 

Wrathion: Yes, I feel like that might be led back to you quite easily. 

Shaw: I thought Edwin had a steady income for his shelter? What happened?

Wrathion: Sure, a steady income through gang work, but the thing with crime is its anything but steady. 

Wrathion: Especially since you and yours having been cracking down on the Defias in the area for a fair amount of time. 

Wrathion: And I don’t think you’re ignorant to Edwin’s involvement with them  🤭

Shaw: Right.

Shaw: I’ll try talk to him. 

Wrathion: I’ll leave VanCleef in your capable hands  😉

Shaw: Great. Thanks. 

Wrathion: Try not to sound too excited.

Shaw: I haven’t been home a day, Prestor before you invade my inbox with unsanctioned overtime.

Wrathion: Would you rather I hadn’t mentioned it?

Shaw: You’re a thorn in my side. 

Wrathion:  😇😇

_ Piratebooty has joined the chat _

_ Tandleftonred has joined the chat _

_ Piratebooty has changed his name to Flynn _

_ Tandleftonred has changed his name to Tandred _

Flynn: Mat, me and Tand are going to the tattoo parlour you have to come with us.

Shaw: Excuse me?

Tandred: There is a sale at the Tattoo place me and Flynn go to so we’re going to get a touch-up, we were hoping you’d come with us.

Shaw: Why?

Tandred: Emotional support.

Flynn: Yeah, you can hold my hand while Tandred cries. 

Tandred: Piss off mate, it’s /you/ that cries.

Flynn: Only because you cry, you big baby

Wrathion: I see you have your hands full, Shaw. Good luck with EV  😘

_ Wrathion has left the chat _

Flynn: EV?

Shaw: It’s work-related.

Shaw: Speaking of which I’m behind I can’t join you. 

Tandred: Told you he wouldn’t bite, Flynn.

Flynn: Now hang on a second

Flynn: Mat, babe, please come

Flynn: Pretty please  🥺🥺

Shaw: You’ve clearly done this before, I highly doubt you need me to hold your hand

Flynn: But I doooooooooooooo  😭😭

Shaw: Tandred is with you, hold each other’s hand. 

Tandred: He’s not falling for it, Flynn. Just tell him.

Flynn: uh fine

Flynn: Mathias, I was hoping maybe you’d get a tattoo with me?

Flynn: It doesn’t have to related to me or anything I just thought it might be nice to get one together?

Shaw: I appreciate the sentiment but I don’t really do tattoos.

Shaw: They’re too recognisable.

Flynn: Now that’s a bit of a fib mate

Flynn: You have ‘Red’ tattooed on the inside of your ring finger. 

Shaw: I got that when I was sixteen and it’s so faded it barely counts as a tattoo now.

Flynn: I mean it’s visible enough I noticed

Shaw: You’re maybe only the second or third person to notice.

Flynn: Really?

Shaw: Well not many people spend time looking at my hands 

Flynn: Right shame that, you have lovely hands

Shaw: You’re ridiculous 

Flynn:  😘😘

Tandred: So why ‘red’?

Shaw: Maybe I just like the colour.

Tandred:...

Flynn:...

Tandred: Seriously?

Shaw: No.

Tandred: Wait a minute, isn’t it illegal to get a tattoo under the age of Eighteen?

Shaw: It can be.

Tandred: Mathias Shaw, did you break the law?!

Shaw: Eh. 

Flynn: Babe, have you been doing CRIMES?

Shaw: They’re only crimes if you’re caught.

Flynn: Finally I can buy you a ‘Be gay, do crimes’ shirt and it’ll make sense

Flynn: !! Mathias, you could get /that/ tattooed on you. 

Shaw: Absolutely not. 

Flynn: Not an inch of fun in you

Shaw: Oh you give me enough inches of fun to make up for it

Tandred:...

Flynn:!!!!!!

Flynn: Mathias!!!

Shaw: Sorry. 

Flynn: No, don’t be

Flynn: I’m so proud

Shaw: I’m not. In fact, I’m rather disappointed. 

Tandred: Flynn, I think you’ve got an impostor mate

Shaw: You two are melting my brain

Tandred: Haven’t been back for a day and you’re already are starting to sound like us

Tandred: What would Wyrmbane say

Shaw: You’ll find I don’t much care about Halford’s opinion

Flynn: What would Renzik say

Shaw: I’m sure he’s writing his letter of resignation as we speak

Shaw: But seriously, I can’t come. Maybe next time when I’m a little less overloaded with work. 

Flynn: A’right

Shaw: I can practically see you pouting at your phone screen, Flynn. 

Flynn: Just thought it might be nice to spend a day together since you just got back is all

Shaw: I know, unfortunately, Wrathion just dropped more 'off the books' work on me and it’s the kind of stuff I’d rather deal with now rather than later. 

Flynn: Since when do you take orders from Wrathion? 

Shaw: Since never but he’s a competent informant and I’m inclined to believe him on this one. 

Flynn: ugh fineeee

Flynn: Are we still going out this evening? You promised we’d go out this evening.

Shaw: I’ll have the important stuff wrapped up by then, Flynn. I promise. 

Flynn: Yay  ❤️❤️

Tandred: Oi Flynn if we want to steal a lift from Jaina you should ideally be ready within the next 10 minutes

Flynn: A’right

Flynn: You sure you won’t come, Mat?

Shaw: No, thank you. I’ll see you at home. 

Tandred: Have fun with work, Mathias. Wish me luck with having to deal with Flynn blubbing on my arm for the next few hours

Flynn: No wish ME luck with Tandred because he’s the bellyacher in this friendship

Shaw: I think I’ll wish you both luck in that regard.

Shaw: See you later.

_ Shaw has left the chat _

Flynn: Trying to make out I’m a wimp in front of my boyfriend, what kind of a wingman are you

Tandred: You started it.

Flynn: Did not!!

Flynn: Okay, I reread the chat and maybe I did but that is beside the point 

Tandred: Go get ready Flynn or you’ll be getting a tattoo in nothing but your knickers and that’ll give you something to cry about 

Flynn: You know I have no qualms with public nudity  😛

Tandred: Flynn.

Flynn: A’right I’m going 


	9. Chapter 9

_MShaw07 has started a chat_

_Kingpin has joined the chat_

_MShaw07 has changed their name to Shaw_

_Kingpin has changed their name to Edwin_

Edwin: Hey Red, everything okay?

Shaw: Don’t you ‘Hey Red’ me. 

Edwin: Ah, it’s going to be one of /those/ conversations is it. 

Shaw: I’ve been informed you intend to hold a protest outside Anduin’s city house. 

Shaw: I’d appreciate it if you reorganised elsewhere.

Edwin: Mat, I’m flat broke- if we don’t garner attention towards the shelter it’ll get shut down and our residences will be thrown back to the streets. 

Shaw: I respect your causes, the legal ones anyway, but what did Anduin do to earn your ire. 

Edwin: Aside from being dirt rich?

Edwin: His father is a bastard. 

Shaw: Your qualms with his father have nothing to do with Anduin. 

Edwin: Don’t know where Wrynn Sr lives. 

Edwin: ‘Sides, Wyrnn Jr was raised on privilege, heaven forbid he faces a few inconveniences in his life. 

Shaw: If you’re going to protest do it around a public building, not his personal home. 

Edwin: Shaw, you know how I feel about you but you’ve become a right bootlicker in your later years. 

Shaw: Bite me.

Edwin: Sure, dinner at 8? Then I’ll bite you all you want.

Shaw: Stop. 

Edwin: Not even a little play today hey Red?

Shaw: Look Edwin, I know you’re not stupid but you really don’t think passion projects through.

Edwin: What’s that supposed to mean.

Shaw: You’re short-sighted.

Edwin: You’re wrong about that one, Red. We’ve been organising this for weeks. 

Shaw: That’s not what I meant. 

Shaw: Look see it this way.

Shaw: You and yours go to Anduin’s house. You protest outside. You attract media attention.

Edwin: Aye, that’s what we want.

Shaw: Okay but that media attention isn’t just going to be on your protest. It’d going to be on Anduin and his home location. 

Edwin: So? He has other houses I’m sure. 

Shaw: One other in the countryside he shares with his father and that’s it. 

Shaw: Besides this isn’t just about Anduin. Other people frequent his home, take Wrathion for example; his families past history and rivalries have Wrathion on a protection program if people know he visits Anduin’s home both of them would be at risk. 

Edwin: What do I care about some Wrynn and Prestor pups. 

Shaw: Fine, what about Tess then? She and her family also visit Anduin regularly and last I checked Tess was friends with Vanessa. 

Shaw: Are you truly so angry you’re willing to dox some kids- one of them being your daughter’s friend? 

Edwin: Hey come on, you’re being dramatic.

Shaw: And if I’m not?

Shaw: Red, please reconsider. 

Edwin: Mathias you can’t pull out the Red card- that’s cheating

Shaw: You still call me Red all the time

Edwin: Sure but it’s cheating when you do it. 

Shaw: Please, Red 

Edwin: Ugh

Edwin: Bootlicker.

Edwin: Lapdog.

Edwin: Fine. I’ll see if I can convince the boys to move it to the city centre. Maybe we can use it as an excuse to pull those anti-homeless measures off the benches. 

Shaw: Thank you. 

Shaw: Just please keep it peaceful, I don’t want to have to bail you out of prison.

Shaw: Again. 

Edwin: Eh, no promises. 

Shaw: Behave yourself and I’ll perhaps speak to Anduin about donating towards the shelter. 

Shaw: It’s the kind of thing he’d happily fundraise for- providing you can get Vanessa to stop spray painting his property. 

Edwin: That’s my girl. 

Shaw: Edwin. 

Edwin: Hey I said I’d move the protest, you have nothing to complain about

Shaw: I’m sure I could find a few things.

Edwin: You always could Red. 

Edwin: So, Vanessa is out of town for a few days. Did you want to come over for a bit? I’ll make dinner? 

Shaw: I’m seeing someone. 

Edwin: OH

Edwin: Sorry I didn’t know. 

Shaw: Why should you, I think it’d be weird if I was updating you every time I was dating, no?

Edwin: Oh sure but Baros normally mentions it. 

Shaw: Does he now. 

Edwin: I do like to ask how you’re doing, Red. 

Shaw: I see. 

Shaw: Well between our work and his family neither of us have had the time. 

Edwin: Makes sense. Have you met little Rose Alexston yet? She’s coming up to 3 or 4 now. 

Shaw: No. 

Edwin: You should, I know Baros is keen to introduce you. 

Shaw: Why

Edwin: Because you’re his friend and he wants you to meet his family, have you even met Thorne yet? 

Shaw: Briefly. 

Edwin: You’re terrible. 

Shaw: The worst. 

Shaw: I need to go, I still have things to do. 

Edwin: Alright. Feel free to message me for stuff that doesn’t involve protests or work 

Shaw: I’ll think about it. 

Shaw: Good luck with your shelter, Red. 

_Shaw has left the chat_

* * *

* * *

Flynn: And then Tandred started bawling his eyes out

Flynn: Was well embarrassing mate. 

Tandred: Flynn we took a picture after your tattoo was done, I have photo evidence of the tears in your eyes. 

Flynn: Uh yeah do me and favour a crop that 

Tandred: I’ll think about it. 

Jaina: I’m glad it all went well, with or without the tears 

Flynn: Don’t know what tears you’re talking about, Lady Proudmoore. 

Flynn: Aside from Tandred's obviously

Flynn: Say does Mathias like Chinese food? We were going to go out later but I could really go for a take out instead

Jaina: He’d probably prefer that

Flynn: Well takeaway it is 

_MShaw07 has joined the chat_

Flynn: Speak of the devil, Mat how do feel about Take out?

_MShaw07 has changed his name to Mathias_

Mathias: Sure, why not. Do you want me to pick something up on the way home? 

Flynn: Chinese food pls I’ll DM you my order 🥰

Mathias: Sure. 

Mathias: How’d your tattoo go?

Flynn: All good, stings a bit up that’s to be expected, I got a new addition- want to see?

Mathias: Go ahead. 

Flynn: Tand put the pic in 

[ _ Tandred has sent an attachment _ ](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/394813944520245249/816587740874539018/unknown.png)

Flynn: You bastard you said you’d crop it

Tandred: I said I’d think about it and I /did/ crop it

Tandred: Just on your face. With the tears in your eyes.

Flynn: Mat those aren’t tears of pain in my eyes, I’d just yawned so 

Mathias: I’m not judging, Flynn. 

Flynn: anyway I remembered you liked birds so I got a few for you to stare at when you can’t sleep 

Flynn: Do’you like them?

Mathias: You got them for me?

Flynn: That I did 

Mathias: I like them a lot. 

Flynn: Can you tell what type of bird they are?

Tandred: Oh boy

Flynn: Tandred shut up, let the man identify the birds. 

Mathias: They’re great tits are they not?

Flynn: Yes those are my great tits but what about the birds, Mat.

Mathias:...

Mathias: I feel like the birds are less for me and more for you to make tit jokes. 

Flynn: They’re for both. 

Tandred: He was making tit jokes the whole afternoon.

Flynn: It’s funny

Tandred: The. Whole. Afternoon. 

Flynn: Sounds like you’re jealous of my great tits, Tandred

_Tandred has left the chat_

Flynn: lmao 

Jaina: Mathias, how did your chat with Edwin go? Anduin mentioned Wrathion set you on him. 

Flynn: Edwin? As in your ex?

Mathias: Yes, you can read the messages when I’m home if you want

Flynn: Nah its okay, mate. I trust you ❤️

Mathias: I appreciate that 

Jaina: Awh

Mathias: Jaina. 

Jaina: Sorry. 

Jaina: So what’d he say?

Mathias: He agreed to move his little protest to the town centre.

Jaina: That’s a relief, I dread to think how Varian would have reacted had he gone through with another protest so close to home considering how it went the last time that happened. 

Jaina: Do you think he’ll genuinely move it?

Mathias: I do. I’ll speak to Anduin about it tomorrow. 

Mathias: He mentioned Baros’ daughter is a few years old now. 

Jaina: How sweet, is he still with Thorne?

Mathias: Yes, to my knowledge. Red reckons I should try to see them at some point. 

Jaina: It wouldn’t hurt to catch up surely 

Mathias: I know, I just hate that kind of mundane catching up small talk 

Flynn: Who is Baros?

Mathias: He’s an old friend, we grew up together 

Flynn: I could always come with if you want. I’m great at small talk.

Flynn: Or just talk in general. 

Mathias: Would you?

Flynn: Sure, I’d like to meet the people you grew up with 

Mathias: I’ll speak to Baros this week, see if he has some free time. 

Mathias: Alright, I’ve got food, I’ll be home soon. 

Flynn: Did you get extra pawn-crackers

Mathias: I did. 

Flynn: Thank god because I’m starved, mate 🤤

Mathias: See you in five. 

Flynn:🥳🥳🥳

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

_Tandleftonred has started a chat_

_Tandleftonred has added MShaw07 to the chat_

_Tandleftonred has changed his name to Tandred_

_MShaw07 has changed his name to Shaw_

Shaw: Tandred, can I help you?

Tandred: Flynn’s birthday is coming up soon.

Shaw: I’m aware.

Tandred: Well I was going to get his pocketwatch repaired but he hasn’t had it on him recently so I haven’t been able to grab it. 

Tandred: Do you think you could nick it for me?

Shaw: Sure.

Shaw: He’s going to be upset when he realises it’s missing though.

Tandred: Aye but imagine how chuffed he’ll be when he gets it back and it’s nice and shiny.

Tandred: What are you getting him?

Shaw: Secret, Captain. 

Tandred: Oh come on.

Tandred: Promise I won’t tell. 

Shaw: No offence, Tandred but I’d rather not risk it. I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough. 

Tandred: Alright, alright 

Tandred: must be pretty good if it’s so hush hush, should I worry about needing to up my own gift? 

Shaw: No, no I’m sure he’ll be very happy with yours

Tandred: I can’t be sure unless you tell me yours. 

Tandred: Come on, tell me 

Shaw: No can do, Proudmoore. I can’t risk you spilling 

Tandred: Spoilsport

_7thlegend has joined the chat_

_TheSilverestHand has joined the chat_

Shaw: When will you and Flynn learn to make your chats invite only

Tandred: well people have only started busting in uninvited since we met you 

_7thlegend has changed his name to Halford_

_TheSilverestHand has changed his name to Turalyon_

Turalyon: Master Shaw, a moment of your time. 

Shaw: If you must.

Halford: Ah, Captain Proudmoore, you might be interested in this as well 

Turalyon: Proudmoore? Jaina’s brother? Derek was it?

Tandred: It so obviously says my name is Tandred in the chat. 

Tandred: But yes, I’m Jaina’s brother. 

Turalyon: Apologies, I wasn’t aware Daelin had two sons. 

Tandred: Well now you know. 

Tandred: In fact, I think I should jump ship lads, I don’t think I’m needed for whatever this is. 

Shaw: No Tandred wait. Don’t leave me here with them. 

Halford: Should I ask what that means, Mathias. 

Shaw: We were having a conversation, it’d be unfair for Tandred to leave the chat when our discussion was happening first. 

Tandred: Saved it.

Shaw: Be quiet.

Shaw: Anyway, if you gentlemen can carry on so myself and Proudmoore can finish talking. 

Halford: If you don’t mind my asking; since when have you two been friends? 

Shaw: Not really much of your business is it, Halford. 

Tandred: That and it kind of happened at some point and I don’t think either of us could identify the exact turning point

Shaw: That too. 

Shaw: I repeat myself; what do you want?

Turalyon: There is an event at the church this Sunday, Anduin helped organise.

Shaw: He mentioned that once or twice in passing.

Turalyon: We’re trying to encourage people to bring a friend or colleague who doesn’t attend church regularly to come. 

Shaw: Uhuh.

Halford: In short Mathias, Anduin mentioned inviting you by name but seemed reluctant because he didn’t want it to come across as an order or work-related. So I’m asking you instead.

Shaw: We’re not friends. 

Halford: …

Halford: Alright we fall more into acquaintances and work colleagues but the invite still stands. 

Shaw: Sunday is my day off. If I’m needed for security I’d be willing to compromise that with Anduin himself but unless I’m being asked for that exact reason it’s a no. 

Shaw: Sorry. 

Turaloyn: What about you, Proudmoore?

Tandred: Hmm probably not mate. I’m religious but I don’t think we worship the same thing. 

Turalyon: Shame that.

Turalyon: Shaw, I was always under the impression you didn’t take days off?

Shaw: Well my partner complained we didn’t spend enough time together so I agreed to take Sunday off. It gives my second a chance to take charge for a bit as well. 

Turalyon: Oh Shaw I didn’t know you had a wife. 

Turalyon: If you want we can extend an invitation to her as well for Sunday? It’d be nice to meet her in person. 

Tandred: hahaha 

Shaw: I don’t have a wife.

Turalyon: Ah apologies, girlfriend then? 

Shaw: Boyfriend. 

Turalyon: Oh

Turalyon: I didn’t realise

Shaw: Yes, I can see that.

Turalyon: Forgive me, you didn’t seem the type

Shaw: “Didn’t seem the type”?

Turalyon: You struck me as a ladies man, is all

Tandred: Lmao

Shaw: When have I ever given you that impression. 

Turalyon: It was just an assumption, Shaw. Given how you conduct yourself.

Shaw: How I conduct myself.

Turalyon: I mean it as a compliment

Shaw: You mean that I conduct myself like a straight man...as a compliment?

Tandred: [ _Tandred has sent an attachment_ ](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.istockphoto.com%2Fphotos%2Fdig-a-hole-picture-id499619677&f=1&nofb=1)

Turalyon: No, that’s not what I meant.

Halford: Shaw, don’t twist his words.

Shaw: I’m literally typing his messages back at him

Halford: That is beside the point.

Shaw: Whatever. It doesn’t matter.

Halford: I take it you are certain you and Fairwind don’t want to come Sunday then? 

Shaw: Oh I don’t know Halford, we might step inside the building and burst into flames. 

Turalyon: Mathias, I apologise for assuming. You and your partner are both welcome and Anduin would be happy to see you both. 

_PirateBooty has joined the chat_

Tandred: Ah Flynn, what good and completely random timing

_PirateBooty has changed his name to Flynn_

Flynn: That it is Friend of mine who definitely didn’t message me to join the chat because Mathias was about to throw hands with the elderly. What’s the word?

Halford: The elderly? Really?

Flynn: Don’t worry about it, mate. Happens to everyone eventually. Generally speaking. 

Turalyon: Whose this?

Shaw: It’s fine, I didn’t have things to do today.

Shaw: Turalyon, this is my partner Flynn. Flynn, this is Turalyon, he works at the local church. 

Flynn: Oh! Ahoy mate, nice to meet you. 

Turalyon. Nice to meet you, Flynn. We were just asking Mathias if he wanted to attend an event Anduin has organised for Sunday, perhaps he’d be more willing if you came along?

Flynn: Bet he was overjoyed at the offer. 

Tandred: Practically vibrating with excitement

Flynn: Lmao

Flynn: Anyway, we can’t do Sunday, mate we’re pre-booked.

Turalyon: You’re sure you can’t make the time just this week?

Flynn: Nah. Sunday is Funday if you count my drift. 

Mathias: Flynn.

Flynn: And by that I mean we fuck.

Mathias: Flynn Fairwind. 

Flynn: None stop for the whole day. The highlight of my week. 

Tandred: You only have sex on Sundays?

Flynn: Pfft no

Flynn: But Sunday’s are explicitly for sex. 

Halford: Captain Fairwind!

Flynn: Ahoy.

Halford: Not appropriate. 

Flynn: Why not? It’s Tand’s chat, you fellows invited yourselves in. 

Turalyon:...

Turalyon: I…

Turalyon: I don’t…

Turalyon: Do you take constructive criticism, Captain. 

Flynn: I only take cash or credit, mate so unless you’re going to pay for my time. 

Turalyon: Well then.

Turalyon: The offer for Sunday is still open. Perhaps we’ll see one or both of you there. 

Halford: Anduin would appreciate it, Shaw. 

Shaw: So you’ve said. 

Turalyon: Perhaps the Captain can work on his profanity filter before then, given the company

Flynn: Not fucking likely.

Flynn: Also it's 5 quid per unwanted criticism I'll shoot you my Paypal 

Tandred: Alright! Nice chatting with you! Bye now!

Flynn: Wait, he owes me 5 quid!!! 

_Tandred has kicked Turalyon from the chat_

_Tandred has kicked Halford from the chat_

Shaw: God, I have a migraine. 

Tandred: That happen often?

Shaw: Once every few months, they’re not bad people they just-

Shaw: Their type annoys me. And I know /I/ annoy them I don’t know why they’re so bothered about me attending their damn events. 

Shaw: Thank you for scaring them off, Flynn. Even if I am somewhat embarrassed by the method and Halford is going to avoid making eye contact with me for at least a week for it.

Flynn: Had to pull out extreme measures, mate. Checked Turalyons socials when Tand messaged me- you know he hunts for sport? Can’t stand that, I already decided I don’t like the bastard. 

Shaw: I...don’t think I’ve heard you say you explicitly dislike someone. 

Flynn: I dislike plenty of folks, I just don’t talk about them. People who hurt/kill animals for fun automatically earn my ire though, I cannot wrap my head around it. 

Flynn: Anyway shall we go Sunday? See how many inappropriate places we can shag before we get caught, sent to a nunnery or burst into flames? 

Shaw: That would be rude. Anduin would be mortified. 

Shaw: Besides, Halford and Turalyon annoy me but I don’t /hate/ them enough to ruin their little social. 

Flynn: Could always show up for the end, stay for a little bit to say hi to Anduin. 

Shaw: Hmm, that might tie them over. 

Flynn: So what were you two chatting about anyway? Not like you both to chat just the two of you. 

Tandred: Super secret I’m afraid, mate. You know how the Master Shaw is

Flynn: 😑😑

Shaw: You’ll find out soon, Flynn. I promise. 

Flynn: Well if you promise 👉🏼👈🏼

Shaw: I do. 

Flynn: ❤️❤️❤️

Flynn: Right, I need to get back to it or Cyrus is going to go off, let me know if you need me to scare off any more old people 

Shaw: Get back to work then, Fairwind

Flynn: Yes, Master Shaw 😉

Flynn: I love youuu 

_Flynn has left the chat_

Tandred: Wild. 

Shaw: I hate it here. 

Tandred: I’ll try to remember to lock the chats in future. 

Shaw: No, you won’t.

Tandred: Ahhh probably not. 

Shaw: Why am I not surprised.

Shaw: I’ll have that watch to you by tomorrow. 

Tandred: Cheers mate. Can’t wait to see your super-secret gift assuming its sfw ✌🏼

Shaw: You’ll see in due time.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
